Contrary to what most people think, there’s actually a right way – and wrong way of initiating the subject of divorce. It’s probably one of the most nerve-wracking conversations that you’ll have to face in your lifetime.
The goal is to talk over the subject in a way that honours the marriage while preparing the stage for a smooth divorce process. But then again, it’s really easier said than done.
To help you along the process of breaking the news, here are some advice from divorce experts that could help you handle the conversation as compassionately and peacefully as it could be.
Choose Your Words Wisely
Here’s something to keep in mind; empathy should be your goal. After you’ve determined a good time to talk, always consider your partner’s feelings (no matter how hard it may be) and lead with a soft start. A civil conversation with your spouse goes a long way in keeping things manageable.
Arrange an Alone Time with Your Spouse
Set-up a time when you and your spouse can really be alone. Make sure your kids are out of the house when this happens because you never know what might occur during the conversation; both of you might say hurtful things to each other and that’s something you don’t want your children to hear.
Choose Daytime Rather Than Late at Night
When you’re both exhausted from work or other daily activities, you may be less likely to talk in a calm manner and be open about discussing the subject wholeheartedly. Your ability to empathize and listen to your spouse may be lessened and your patience worn thin.
Set The Stage for A Peaceful and Cooperative Divorce Process
When determining the right way to say ‘I want a divorce,’ just remember to think long term. Try not to blurt it out out of nowhere. After all, it is a heavy statement— and rather than it being the conclusion of something, it can and should be a start of a new beginning for both of you.
Give you and your partner the best chance to make the divorce process as peaceful as it can be. If it’s not possible due to certain circumstances, at least you know you tried your best.
Seek The Help of a Professional Divorce Solicitor
If for some reason you can’t have the discourse in person, you can simply ask your divorce lawyer to send a carefully written letter to your spouse.
If you fear the thought of having to directly tell your spouse about the divorce (particularly if there’s been physical and emotional abuse), you can always seek the help of a professional.
This also makes sense, because you’ll then have plenty of time to think about what to say and how to say it. This is also beneficial as you now have a recorded document that guarantees you can’t be accused of being thoughtless or mean-spirited towards your spouse, so long as your write the letter in a thoughtful way.
May these things help you along the way, and guide you through another journey in your life.
